I see how you stay in bed longer than you “should” because it’s the only place that feels safe.
I see you making deals with yourself to extend your time in the nest by checking your iPhone. Starting your day behind a screen.
I see how you rush the morning, wishing for more time with the kids, the dog, the partner, the meditation, telling yourself you’ll get up earlier tomorrow.
I see you perform at work. I see you get momentary joy from a job well done.
I see you ruminate at night when people you don’t even really know criticize your work, your intentions, bring you down.
I see you do, do, do. I see you give, give, give. I see you tell yourself that it’s fine.
I’ll just take a Xanax.
I’ll go to a yoga class.
I’ll meet a girlfriend for dinner and commiserate.
I’ll drink this bottle of Pinot.
I’ll watch OITNB, just one more, just one more.
I see you scrolling, liking, and feeling more empty.
I see you afraid to tell someone what you need. I see you not even knowing what you need.
I see you trapped in a normal life. I see you stuffing the emotions that make you you.
I see you under so much pressure. I see you endure. I see you put up with. I see you sacrifice.
I see you lie to yourself, saying, this is ok. This is fine.
I see you look in the mirror and look away. Afraid to confront the woman you see. Afraid to know her. Afraid to ask HER what she wants.
Afraid that if you do, it’ll all blow up.
I see you sad. I see you restless. I see you full of anxiety because you know there’s MORE. I see you saying yes to everything but you.
You know you have a purpose. You know you want to be free. You know that emptiness in your gut is your soul screaming…do not go to the grave in the normal.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
You don’t have to go through life putting up with, biting your tongue until it bleeds, wishing you could…You don’t have to be normal. You don’t have to go with the flow.
Make your own flow.
We are waiting for you. We are waiting for your voice. We are waiting for your power.
We are waiting for your brilliance, your magnificence.
We are waiting for you to come out of the eddy.
We are waiting for the rush that is you.
We are waiting for your own special current, the one that will sweep us away into your own unique amazing rapids of greatness.
You can start small, choosing you.
Pick this moment, right now, as you’re reading this, dig deep and ask,
What do I want?
See what comes up.
And then, tomorrow, instead of the iPhone in bed, ask again…
What do I want?
And the next day.
And the next.
Amy Buck, Founder, Wisdom Ridge Ranch